December 25, 1994
When I do not want anyone to understand me, and I always remind myself about self-protection, by closing all the doors against intruders breaking into my world or my thinking, this means I really cut myself off from the ordinary living, and start to have self-confidence to advance on the path, to accomplish the chosen tasks for this life.
Why should I cease to wish people around to understand me, in order to fulfill my chosen tasks?
When I still wish for others' understanding, I would depend on them, be under their influence, and change myself accordingly. My decisions would be unsteady, and they would affect and weaken my will power, result in delay or deviation from the path. Such hesitation would discourage me, and I may fail in the task, or just leave it in the middle.
To succeed in the chosen tasks, my will power should be as steady as a mountain rock. The plan should be followed exactly, and the aims should be reached willingly.
Strong will power does not mean that I can just do things inconsiderately, regardless of others' disagreement; but I should patiently listen to them, to release them, not to let them influence my decisions.
Patience should be practiced. Patience is with will power, not with weakness. I need to know what I think and want, and what others think and do, so that I can transmute their knowing and thinking in accordance with my knowing and thinking.
Does my self-importance hurt when people around me think that I am ignorant or dumb?
I might be sad if I do not know who am I, what I want, and do?
When I can answer these three questions, I will feel confident to move forward, though my ability may be lesser than others'.
When I am able to answer these three questions, I will no longer be influenced by others; and only on this basis, a person may be able to execute and realize his expectations.
Once I have answered these three questions, I will no longer fear, as I know my true position, compared to others. I always benefit, as I know what needs to be learned from a better person. If I did not know my actual level, I would either give without receiving, or just brag uselessly and prevent others from sharing of knowledge.Knowing my ability does not mean knowing only my strong points, but also my weak point as well. Thus, I can correct and complement myself, to improve my knowledge, skills, and self-confidence. I will no longer be scared or hesitant in front of others, as I do not conceal my weakness and no one cares to unmask me. Without the fear of being unmasked, I will end fear on my own.