56- I AM NOT DEPENDENT

If I depend on a master who is someone else but ME, I will be facing one wall of ignorance after another, moving from one prison to another, and I will never see the light of the way that I chose at the beginning.

If I depend on a teacher in any way, I am like someone who keeps asking the way but does not have a roadmap in hand to decide which way to follow, no matter how short or long, how quick or slow.

When I depend on a teacher who is not me, I lose my self-control and the power to create. If I let myself be controlled, I will fall into fear, into a big prison from which there is no exit.

When I ask for someone else’s opinion, I allow him to decide for me. Hence, where am I? What do I know and do? When someone else decides for me, I place myself in front of two possibilities. I do it because I follow an order; this act is done in blindness, because it does not come from my own decision. When I follow an order, I believe that the other person “knows” while I “do not know.” When I do something without knowing it I am only a parrot, or a repeating instrument. Where will such dependency lead me? No matter if this blind act may lead to success or failure, this will be only the success or failure of a blind person.

All learning is simply a means to achieve knowledge. All forms of dependency should end so as to realize illumination. The way of realizing illumination cannot be achieved without SELF-DETERMINATION. Self-determination is the prerequisite for success. I should know what role I have to assume. I should be the one who decides my roles and actions.

I must have a STEADY MIND to recognize with clarity my position, the roles I assume, and the conditions under which I live. If I am responsible for something, all tasks will come naturally to me and I will make sensible decisions for each task, based on my self-determination. I should hold tightly the roadmap of my life and my path; no one else can take that role. All forms of dependency reflect my weakness and lack of determination. I AM DETERMINED THAT I AM THE ONE WHO DECIDES MY OWN LIFE.

Self-determination will prevent me from being superstitious, dependent and without direction. Living in dependency, I will become confused, insecure, and unprepared for coming events and what to do about them.

Have a steady mind in order to end all anxiety, fear, and spiritual and material dependency.

Live in serenity and complacency, advance in slow but steady steps, with a constant will, a patient mind, and great courage to face any situation, auspicious or not, good or bad. The Master who is constantly present should be no one else but ME.

I should learn to be lucid and wise to serve mankind and sentient beings, as well as my religion, with the roles and duties that I have to fulfill. I cannot succeed, cannot complete my mission, without self-determination. Every organization, religion, and entity has its own roles and duties, with a group of people with whom I must cooperate or lead. Each of these groups has its own characteristics that I must study and understand, to make sure that the working process is harmonious and well-balanced. The leader should have will power, but this can only be obtained with self-determination and a steady mind. The sharpness of a steady mind will help me to know what needs to be done or not at every moment, and I should follow it scrupulously to make my decisions.

The current of my energy circulates very fast to catch the past and the future in every moment. If my mind is not fixed, I will not be able to catch the warnings: what has already happened or is going to happen, no matter if it is good, bad, auspicious, or harmful, as well as what needs to be done or avoided. A steady mind and clairvoyance will strengthen self-determination and willpower and eliminate fear.

A steady mind will help me to penetrate everyone’s thoughts, because the current of my energy can penetrate others’ currents of energy instantaneously. I will know others’ thoughts, calculations, emotions, and feelings, and the changes from one state to another.

I cannot be controlled if I do not let myself be controlled, if I choose my own way. If there is any control, it should be me who controls myself. This so-called self-monitoring helps me to understand the changes in my mundane nature, so that I can accept and forgive myself, in order to guide me back to the pure and bright nature of Buddha.

I always forgive myself for the time that I leave myself in order to learn. Every learning, every spiritual and physical transformation can help me to advance, but in the end I will return to reunite with myself.

I do not blame myself for being dependent and vague. In order to know the Way, I should lose my way. Once suddenly awakened, I will smile and forgive myself so as to step forward again.

The path is long with many challenges and problems to overcome. The light is at the end of the tunnel. If my aim is to serve the Vietnamese people and peace in the world, and I am determined to do it, my wish will be accomplished.