Each breath is a moment of meditation...
I really exist
If I was always awakened, I would be my own teacher, as I would learn from myself and teach myself everything. All about my own nature, greed, hate, delusion, joy, anger, and love, which always teach us everlasting lessons.
All greed, hate, delusion, joy, anger, and love are like a sprawling library about human beings that I feel inept to learn adequately, and that human being is MYSELF.
My face wears thousands of masks but I will never be able to learn about all of them, because I may think about myself one way, but it turns out to be different.
Therefore, when do I really see my SELF? Does the Self really exist?
The Self really exists when I do not assimilate my true self with those masks of illusion. My self exists when I can define what each mask is doing, and wanting? If it is angry, why is it angry? If it is happy, why is it happy? If it is mean, why is it mean? Moreover, if it is suffering, why is it suffering? Is it a devil wearing the mask of a sage; a hypocrite feigning to be honest; a vicious one playing the role of one who is virtuous; or a coward pretending to be brave?
I exist, and constantly exist, if my mind is peaceful to monitor the roles that I take in life. I will be serene and complacent, because every time I can clearly define my role, I will learn from myself and teach myself, so that I can correct myself. Whenever I can see my masks, at that moment I also meet my true face.
At that moment, I revere and contemplate my praiseworthy master.
We cannot be without each other.
In every second of serenity and complacency, I meet myself again. I welcome myself. I hug myself and love myself. At that moment, I am myself. I am not playing the role of a human life, but I am the helmsman of the boat of my own body, floating on the ocean.
Despite all waves and winds, I am lonely when I navigate my boat. I so much love this small boat. I adore it, because without it I do not exist. If it breaks, I break; if it suffers, I suffer.
I strive hard to navigate this lonely boat, so that it will not hit the cliff and be damaged or painfully broken. I take care and mend all the cracks, so that it will continue its journey in the sea.
The boat and I are two but only one.
The boat cannot be without the boatman, and vice versa. If the boatman does not want to advance, the boat will stay in one place; if the boatman makes mistakes in navigation, the boat will be wrecked. Without the boat, the boatman will have no refuge; he cannot advance and reach the shore.
The boatman and the boat, both of them cannot be without each other.
The eternal bliss
All external troubles are caused by me. When my mind is agitated, I act under its influence. When I am scared and confused, I think and act in disarray and have no direction. When I fear that I make mistakes, I will use all kinds of talk and actions to justify my mistakes. When I try to justify, I give others cause to o think I am wrong. When I assume that I am right, I have the same effect on others. I unintentionally cause others to assess, judge, and criticize me.
When others judge me as right or wrong, doubt me, trust me, respect me, disdain me, love me, envy me, hate me, I will be the victim of such judgment; and all of those judgments are because of me.
Therefore, when my mind is calm, others’ minds are also calm. When a condition arises, it comes from my thoughts. If I want to end all troubles, I should know to neutralize every thought that arises in my mind.
When I can end it, I can also end the centrifuge, as well as the karmic effects caused by that centrifuge. Without departure, there will be no arrival. Without the seeds, there will be no growth or karmic effects.
When the mind is calm, the thoughts are peaceful. When the mind is confused, the thoughts are agitated. I am serene and complacent, so everything and everyone around me will be serene and complacent as the result. I am peaceful; and my life will be peaceful. I am arrogant and aggressive; so is life around me.
Life can actually change in all aspects according to my contemplation to be closer to my true self. The closer I reach to the center, which is myself, all troubles in life will gradually lessen and eventually fade out. When I am truly back with my self, I simultaneously accept all thoughts that arise in my mind with serenity and complacency, tolerance and love. At that moment, all arising thoughts will end without strings attached.
I hold myself and live happily in the eternal bliss.