How can we avoid being influenced by others and by ourselves?
If we are not influenced by others, then no matter whether they feel happy, sad, angry, jealous, hateful, or loving, we are not affected by their feelings. If we are not affected by our state of joy, grief, or anger, we do not act without thinking.
We have to understand ourselves through each state, and we should be sharp and wise to decide how to act and speak in order to avoid unconsidered outcomes.
To be able to do so, we need thoroughly to understand all functions of our body and to weigh the consequences and outcomes as the result of our decision.
When we can control our mind and body, we are no longer confused since we are able to assess the outcome and consequence of our words and actions at every second, in every thought, gesture, situation, and with everyone we have to face.
We cannot understand others if we do not understand ourselves. If we are still confused about ourselves, we will certainly be confused about others. When we completely listen to and understand ourselves, we will know how to listen to others and eventually understand them.
When we understand ourselves and others, we will eventually integrate with one another and realize that we are not different than others, and vice versa. We and others have the same characters and abilities.
Such integration helps us to reach the state of indivisibility or the state of non-duality, emptiness, and ultimate bliss.