53- I AM NOT THE ONE THAT I WANT TO BECOME

I hold the pen to write down what can happen when I have peace of mind.

I am surprised at myself. I feel so empty. I look at everything around me in their presence. Everything around me takes its daily course. The only difference is that they do not affect me. They do not have the effect of anxiety or fear on me. I reckon that I have lost many of these precious moments.

With this empty mind I reflect on my past, and I realize that many things in my life happened only because my mind was agitated. One thing was connected to another. One upsetting problem, if not neutralized, is the cause for another upsetting event. However, it can be neutralized at any time, if only I have the emptiness of the mind as at this moment. If not, it will go on day after day, year after year, life after life, if I am still agitated and do not actually know who I am, if I have yet to unite with my true self.

Nature is beautiful and bright, from the leaves swinging in the mild wind to the radiant sunrays covering the roofs, treetops, roads, cars, and everything else. The whispering sounds come from the bushes, as well as sounds from airplanes, cars, and birds. Every sound, every image, every movement, and all these forces of life are bright and peaceful. So, does agitation exist only in the mind of each human being? All life scenes are peaceful if the mind is peaceful. The agitation in many minds will swivel the life scenes and existences and affect many lives, leading to national disorder and eventually to global disorder.

How to stop a global disorder?

A global disorder is the result of conflicts between nations, hatred and wars that have their cause in the troubled minds of human beings who are hateful, envious, and distrustful of one another. Wars cannot be ended by violence, weaponry, power, or money, but only with the blossom of love. Wars add more hatred and hatred keeps increasing, leading mankind to extinction because of famine, injuries, destruction, and illness.

The world will come to extinction if love does not blossom in human hearts.

Love cannot blossom if men do not come back to the peaceful inner mind to meet their own selves and others, to extend their love under the sunshine to all species in nature.

When the mind is peaceful, love blossoms, and we will be able to see the beauty of a leaf or of a sunray, and to feel true happiness in each breezing wind. When love blossoms, we will recognize the true beauty of the smiles, gazes, and harmony among human beings. When love blossoms, discrimination and hatred will automatically subside, and kindness and compassion will surface and gradually spread between men and men, nations and nations.

Love is a magic potion that can bring bliss to all men and nations on this earth.

We are the ones to be feared, not others.

We have the same feelings and emotion as everyone else, with greed, hate, delusion, joy, anger; why do we fear others?

Do we think that we are wholesome, while others are cruel; or we are good while others are bad, and so forth?

As we are capable of letting those feelings develop to the extreme, why do we not fear ourselves? Why do we not fear that we do not know how to control ourselves, and that we even fool ourselves by letting those feelings guide our life into the uncharted territory?

All successes or failures are the result of what we do. No one can fool us if we do not fool ourselves. No one can manipulate or threaten us if we do not allow or provide the opportunity to do so.

Thus, what do we fear?

Maybe we realize that we have done something wrong by our way of thinking, doing, and talking? Alternatively, we may put up a nice face to conceal something behind it, and we fear that others will know the truth and eventually unmask us?

Do we fear that the true face will return us to our actual values, and cause us to lose those false values given by others?

For that reason, it is likely that the fear comes from our cowardly self that deceives itself. Likewise, that self is the real enemy that we must fear.

We fear it because it makes us live in anxiety and confusion about the danger that can happen at any time. All the values that we have spent so long to build, falsify ,and beautify will suddenly be overturned, broken up, and evaporated like a passing fog.

To put an end to our anxiety and fear, we have to face that menacing enemy. WE HAVE TO FACE OUR SELF to put an end to the magical tricks that it has clandestinely performed when we forget, or feign to forget, or “deceive ourselves” to let it happen.

We cannot end grief, fear, anxiety and insecurity in life if we cannot find the true “culprit” who is behind all these entanglements.

 *TRUE VALUES

All thoughts, judgments, and questions about me will end once I realize that “I am not the one that I want to become.”

I will no longer boast or be disappointed in myself if I can see myself in everyone around me. In everyone there are the same states that I have or will have.

All sense organs and states in a human being are to help him live and survive. He should be wise to use them for his spiritual learning and development, in order to bring bliss and happiness to his life and to others around him.

The way to bliss and happiness for me and others cannot be reached if I do not realize my true values, my true duty to myself, my family, my community, and my country. What is my true ability? What are my limits? What are my contributions? What can I do for the future? Where is my position? Moreover, how do others around me assess my capability and personality?

 To look and see myself is not enough; I need to know what others think about me. I should not evaluate myself based on my own imagination and illusion; neither should I assume what others think about me, based on my own imagination.

I should look, see, and listen clearly to all of my true faces and the voices coming from my heart. When my inner self is true, I will be able to see the facts around me. When I live with my own illusions, I will combine my own illusions with those of others around me.

When I am true, I will meet true people. When I am false, I will meet false ones. The one who yearns for ambition will meet those who are also ambitious. If I am greedy for money, someone will have money to lure me. In brief, I am the one who deceives me; and if I ever fail, I am the one who gets me into failure.

All sincere hearts, though far away or nearby, in spite of different situations or languages, will meet together, because they all are honest. The false is harder to recognize than the true, because it has many layers, words, and states. The true is easy to recognize, because it has only one face, one role, and one state.

With a true love for Vietnam and the Vietnamese people, what will the nationalists, the communists, the non-nationalists and the non-communists think or act to forget all these doctrines, differences, and adversities to serve their own country and people? Is the continued existence of the nation more important than their conflicts and clashes? Is building the future for young people, or fighting with arms and weapons to bring destruction and suffering more important?